my draft folder is filled with like 10 pictures of me posing like this with half a shirt on

in other news, i’ve been marathoning the office and i’m close to the end of the final season and

it’s not as funny, but the writing got way, way better

watching jim and pam disintegrate is an incredibly honest portrayal of a relationship

[Anonymous] said:
" Sending hugs and hoping you feel better soon! "

thanks buddy :)

I desperately need to give myself some alone time to gather my thoughts and evaluate what is on my mind and really try to understand my feelings.

I feel far more depressed than usual lately and I’ve been putting off trying to solve it which is making it worse.

I’ve just been ignoring this slowly growing surge of morbid hell inside me and I’m feeling worse and worse and worse every day.

I have a good understanding of why I feel this way, but there’s so many reasons that it’s overwhelming to even try and begin to sit down and just think of one of them without obsessing over it and just reminding myself why that particular thing sucks so much

which is when I basically retreat and go hang out with Ted or something

Except usually, it’s all of my problems encroaching on my mind and nagging me and

I can’t fucking take this anymore


This article tries to explain the discrepancy in civilian deaths between Israel and Hamas, which, ideally, would garner sympathy for Palestine’s freedom fighting movement, but it still is largely sympathetic to Israel’s genocidal, ethnic cleansing war machine.

The best example is seen in this…

Fuck CNN

Shiloh’s album release party night

Just watched Tokyo Ghoul, episode 11

It was





I don’t know if I want to write out a full on review like I did with this week’s Terror in Resonance.





The night is young

and I just got me-self a burrito :D :D :D

Hey! Check out the review I wrote for Terror in Resonance episode 9 where I talk about my belief that its snowballing quality is due to its avoidance of standard anime tropes! With EDITS!


I think about
the future
and wonder
what in the fuck
is worth
to see it through

Terror in Resonance, episode 9



I cried.

I held my mouth shut as tears rolled down my cheek.

Terror in Resonance’s quality is snowballing and I believe it is because it strays away from the tropey story structure that, inversely, makes animes like Tokyo Ghoul so good.

I believe one of the reasons that makes a lot of animes so good is because we knowingly allow ourselves to be deceived by tropes and stereotypes.

Think about all the shonen anime we watch. We’re captivated by a lot of archetypical things present throughout them all. The obviously cloney cool characters, the really interesting abilities, the epic fights and plot-driven confrontations, the grand, ever-unfurling plot lines… stuff like this can be found in literally ever single anime we have spent hours binging or wished we had after that all-to-brief twenty minute roller coaster ride ends each week.

However, Terror in Resonance (as far as I know, so far) doesn’t rely on the predictably set up conflicts between characters or prey on our desire to see characters hurt but without consequence.

So far, the “edge-of-your-seatness” that comes with the series is entirely legitimate with the unpredictability it’s coupled with. 

Even with the early part of the series where it was just Sphinx vs. Shibazaki and co., there was never a thought in my mind that suggested “huh, the plot could never sustain this small of a conflict and will need to grow and add extra parties or this won’t work.” I was entirely trapped within the heat of the moment that was every fake bomb call and whacky riddle the cops tripped over themselves to solve and each new segment of the plot leaked at us kept it so non-transparent that nothing bigger was needed to fill in the empty space that didn’t exist.

Even as the plot expands, it doesn’t do so in an attempt to resuscitate a stale-growing story, but does so organically, and consequentially, gives the viewers a sense of honest excitement and thrill as each new character and conflict is introduced.

Take for example, the beginning of the entire story.

At first, these are just two terrorists who have no clear goal. As the episodes carry on, nothing is revealed, but the cat and mouse between them and the police is more than enough to make for an excellent plot.

While no back story is necessary at any point, it is woven in through snippets of PTSD-esque visions and memories that seem to only serve for the legitimacy of the introduction of 5, a monkey wrench in the boys’ plans that really accelerates a plot, that at the time, didn’t even need it, but still benefited greatly.

The protagonists themselves provide excellent reference.

Obviously boy geniuses, the way their personalities and motives become more clear and distinct as individuals is a tremendous indicator of great writing.

Not only that, but their circumstances and the consequences of their upbringing.

Through gradual exposition, we learn that our protagonists were among the 3 survivors of a state-directed experiment to test cognitive drugs on gifted children. In the present, they’re safe and very independent and can clearly handle themselves, so the thought of their future well-being isn’t something that seems obvious to investigate for potential plot theories, but as we learned when Shibazaki met with the Director of the Ministry of Health and Welfare, there’s reason to believe that anyone who has been exposed to the drugs will have a significantly shortened lifespan.

This is only hinted at by a cryptic line of dialogue from the Director, but it is an enormous piece of information that carries a lot of plot weight. 

It’s another example of a growing plot where the properties responsible for the expansion are completely unforeseen and only benefit the plot, rather than muddle it up with arbitrary progress driven by stereotpyes.

More than that, the indication that the boys won’t live long means a lot for their every effort.

It means that whatever they’re planning, they have to do it fast, but that also means that Lisa’s interference and the complications that brings mean a lot more to us now that they don’t “have a lot of time,” which brings me to my next point: the chain of events between episode 8 and 9.

This thought has always been brewing in my head since I started watching it, but what really helped me turn it into something cohesive was the scene when 12 goes out to save Lisa and 9 tries to stop him. This entire exchange is one enormous trope. It’s in, like, every anime. Ever.

One character is in danger, another character wants to save them, another character tells them not to be it isn’t safe or pragmatic or whatever.

However, this conversation didn’t really play out the way it usually does.

Usually the rescuer leaves mid argument without a lot of good dialogue exchange. What really made me think that the talk between 9 and 12 was well written was that 9 actually tried to convince 12 not to go. Of course, all characters caught in this trope “try” to convince the other not to go, but it is with such half baked reasoning that it makes the entire scene something to forget and only serves as a safe measure for the overall plot because “why would the comrades let them run off so easily.”

9 gave good reasons for 12 to stay, and 12 gave equally good reason why he had to do what he thought was right, and when it was over, 12 resorted to what I feel like lacks in scenes like this across anime: desperation.

"Please don’t go," he asked.

After he tried reason and logic, all he could do was hope that with some emotional leverage, 12 might stay. It was a stirring movement away from the typically unattached, forced back and forth that takes place in scenes like that.

Now that we know that the boys don’t have long to live, the desperation 9 had to keep 12 around to finish their plan makes a lot more sense since it’s clear they fear they could die before seeing it through.

Another trope breaking moment that scene exemplifies is where the character who leaves despite the pleas of their friend gets caught in danger and—GASP—right before anything bad really happens, their friend shows up to save them.

I remember telling my roommate about the dialogue after I watched the episode and they responded with “yea, well, don’t you think that’s what’s going to happen anyway?” after sharing the same thoughts I’m sharing now.

But what was excellent about episode 9 was not only did it avoid that horrible trope, but it didn’t come anywhere close.

Yes, 12 was in danger.

Yes, 12 needed help.

But what happened?

9 did not come to rescue as tropes would suggest.

No, 12 saved himself.

He betrayed his friend.

He betrayed him for a girl they had just met.

This is very interesting because it invites us to wonder what just went through his head seconds before that bomb went off.

Did he think giving up the location of their bomb was the safest bet under the assumption that, rather than moving to save both 12 and Lisa, 9 would opt to protect their goal in fear that 12 would sacrifice it to protect Lisa?

Or was he just thinking in the moment? To save both their lives to preserver whatever opportunities for any sort of relationship while he could? After all, it was only in episode 8 that 12 suggested quitting their current mission. If he could save Lisa while putting in motion events that would kill their plan, he could stay alive, keep Lisa alive, and put any fears about their objective to bed in one admission.

Regardless, we now know that 12’s infatuation with Lisa goes beyond feelings. It’s clear now that he wants to experience love and affection with someone before he dies, which apparently could be very soon, and these new romantic feelings he’s developing are starting to take priority over his current mission with 9.

That tiny hint that the Director gave in his conversation with Shibata not only helps us understand the protagonist’s better, but fills in a lot of gaps in the story that we didn’t even know existed.

This was a thrilling episode, as all have been, and without the trademark anime qualities that make most shows like this worth watching.

got my chinese food

god my terror in resonance

got my tokyo ghoul

applied to like

40 jobs today

shit yea, let’s fucking party


I want you kinda drunk, sorta high and completely on top of me with your tongue in my mouth

i guess moments like this are

what i want rn: to big spoon someone and kiss their neck
what is actually rn: i’m watching the office and multiple snack cannisters and bags prevent me from moving a lot in bed

just casually talking about joseph gordon-levitt with quinn